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1 . Subject : Need your help in making a critical decision in my life...
Question : Hi, I got your link from the Three Authors website. I don’t have any physiological problem or any mental problem. I am doing quite good in my field and earning good. I even have a good career ahead in my profession; however I want to be always at the top. Hence I thought that may be I should go for IAS. Now the problem is I am not able to make up my mind, whether to prepare for it or not. Or should I focus on getting some professional certifications which would help me in my future. I am 26+ and a PG in computers and I told you that I am also earning good, more than what an IAS officer at the highest level earns. I am currently posted out of India. But I want to be the “Numero Uno" in my life, and cant see my life without competition. Now, I am at a cross road where I have to take a critical decision and I am not able to make up my mind. When I see IAS officers being transferred regularly and accompanying politicians like their bodyguards, doing the 'Ji Hazuri' to those illiterate politicians my heart breaks and I am not able to keep up to the motivation. Just to tell you about my family background I am the sole bread earner in my family, so many is also a priority. Please help me. And please don’t give me answers like" both have their pros and cons... These answers are ambiguous and bureaucratic. Please give me a just and honest answer. I want to be at the top and be ahead of all my friends and school mates. I have been better from them and I always want to be better than them. Do help me if you can. Regards Ayan
Question : Hi, I got your link from the Three Authors website. I don’t have any physiological problem or any mental problem. I am doing quite good in my field and earning good. I even have a good career ahead in my profession; however I want to be always at the top. Hence I thought that may be I should go for IAS. Now the problem is I am not able to make up my mind, whether to prepare for it or not. Or should I focus on getting some professional certifications which would help me in my future. I am 26+ and a PG in computers and I told you that I am also earning good, more than what an IAS officer at the highest level earns. I am currently posted out of India. But I want to be the “Numero Uno" in my life, and cant see my life without competition. Now, I am at a cross road where I have to take a critical decision and I am not able to make up my mind. When I see IAS officers being transferred regularly and accompanying politicians like their bodyguards, doing the 'Ji Hazuri' to those illiterate politicians my heart breaks and I am not able to keep up to the motivation. Just to tell you about my family background I am the sole bread earner in my family, so many is also a priority. Please help me. And please don’t give me answers like" both have their pros and cons... These answers are ambiguous and bureaucratic. Please give me a just and honest answer. I want to be at the top and be ahead of all my friends and school mates. I have been better from them and I always want to be better than them. Do help me if you can. Regards Ayan
-Ayan, (9/25/2007)
Dear Friend, you could have asked the same question in threeauthors.com itself.
It is fine. It is upto you decide about your career. We can give some opinions only
Whatever you have written is correct and I agree it. But every individual has his/her own opinion about anything and everything.
Here, what you want to achieve in life is more important and how you are going to attain it another problem. We can give some points for you to think, from there you will get an idae where do want to proceed.
1. As you have already restricted us from saying both have pros and cons. Still I will give some more points to ponder.
2. What is your aim ie ULTIMATE goal, and how you are going to attain it.
3. What type of life would you like to lead in this materialistic and consumeristic world.
4. There are people live for themselves and some for 50:50 type. And no one in this world to live for others. Then he/she will be really GOD. That will never happen. Even the modern days sages have their own agenda in their life.
5. So, one has to decide what is the percentage of life for others one can spend in the life term.
6. Money is important to get other material benefit in the world. That is available in the Private Sector. As you have laready mentioned, you are earning more than a Secretary to the government of India. Then, why do want to come to the government.
7. There are problems in the government sector like cross roads as you have told in your query. But there are many people to decide about it including the Politician. So, there is no such freedom in the government.
8. More than that it is really difficult to lead a normal and decent life with the government salary.
9. In the developed Country like US, where government sector is considered secondary.
10. India is also moving in this direction, so the social service nature of Indian Culture is changing to market culture.
11. Your real talent will get appreciated in the private.
12. After going through the toughest exam in the Civil Service, one do not get the real compensation in the job.
13. If you want to lead a Upright life in the Public Arena, it is real tough. Still there are people do lead a life but they content with the available resources.
14. Above all in the government, you have the satisfaction of doing some social service, though there is some hurdle and some one may be eating public money. Finally it is the service to the nation. There is prestige involved in it. You will be working for the President of India. A single decision make many people happy in the government. For example, Mr.Rajeev Chawla an IAS Officer of Karnataka cadre took one decision of making all lane records online( Compurterization), it has benefitted crores of people. Can you tell any single decision by a private person ( Including Bill Gates) can make crores of people life happy?
15. In the private sector , you will be serving to the individual or to a group of people/individuals and amassing wealth for them.
I hope, you can take a decision based on the above points.
Above all tell me about your opinion about that , WHO WILL GIVE SUCH ANSWERS AT FREE OF COST IN THIS COMPETITIVE AND CONSUMERISTIC WORLD
NOTE: You may give your feedback after reading the answer at threeeauthors@gmail.com
It is fine. It is upto you decide about your career. We can give some opinions only
Whatever you have written is correct and I agree it. But every individual has his/her own opinion about anything and everything.
Here, what you want to achieve in life is more important and how you are going to attain it another problem. We can give some points for you to think, from there you will get an idae where do want to proceed.
1. As you have already restricted us from saying both have pros and cons. Still I will give some more points to ponder.
2. What is your aim ie ULTIMATE goal, and how you are going to attain it.
3. What type of life would you like to lead in this materialistic and consumeristic world.
4. There are people live for themselves and some for 50:50 type. And no one in this world to live for others. Then he/she will be really GOD. That will never happen. Even the modern days sages have their own agenda in their life.
5. So, one has to decide what is the percentage of life for others one can spend in the life term.
6. Money is important to get other material benefit in the world. That is available in the Private Sector. As you have laready mentioned, you are earning more than a Secretary to the government of India. Then, why do want to come to the government.
7. There are problems in the government sector like cross roads as you have told in your query. But there are many people to decide about it including the Politician. So, there is no such freedom in the government.
8. More than that it is really difficult to lead a normal and decent life with the government salary.
9. In the developed Country like US, where government sector is considered secondary.
10. India is also moving in this direction, so the social service nature of Indian Culture is changing to market culture.
11. Your real talent will get appreciated in the private.
12. After going through the toughest exam in the Civil Service, one do not get the real compensation in the job.
13. If you want to lead a Upright life in the Public Arena, it is real tough. Still there are people do lead a life but they content with the available resources.
14. Above all in the government, you have the satisfaction of doing some social service, though there is some hurdle and some one may be eating public money. Finally it is the service to the nation. There is prestige involved in it. You will be working for the President of India. A single decision make many people happy in the government. For example, Mr.Rajeev Chawla an IAS Officer of Karnataka cadre took one decision of making all lane records online( Compurterization), it has benefitted crores of people. Can you tell any single decision by a private person ( Including Bill Gates) can make crores of people life happy?
15. In the private sector , you will be serving to the individual or to a group of people/individuals and amassing wealth for them.
I hope, you can take a decision based on the above points.
Above all tell me about your opinion about that , WHO WILL GIVE SUCH ANSWERS AT FREE OF COST IN THIS COMPETITIVE AND CONSUMERISTIC WORLD
NOTE: You may give your feedback after reading the answer at threeeauthors@gmail.com
--
2 . Subject : Help me please...plz...plz...plz
Question : sir,i m bijay, a 21 year old boy from orissa.my life starts like this, since childhood, i haven`t got actual care, affection,guidance from my parents which r primarily required to an infant for his overall and healthy development, physically,socially,culturally etc.this is bcoz their marital disturbances.again, i feel, i get angry very soon and act and behave like animals only at that moment.when realisation comes to me that i was wrong, everything is ended.this plays a destructivte role in every relation and every aspect of my life.Now,at this age, it is very clear to me,that it is a genetic problem.however, thank to god,my nature is something diffirent. I hav avery kind and childish heart full of emotions.well, the reason,i m explaining all these things is, myself with a positive nature but anger caused negative behaviour is proving to be a bad son,brother,friend and now a very bad lover. THE real present problem starts now.Before 4 years I was in love with a sweet and simple girl.as u know, i was a love and care hunger person from my child days, she gave me all these things , even if by sacrificing her many personal interests.we both were in true love.Really True.everything was fine for first 3 years.but, see luck,as i came to another town for higher studies, we had contact only through phone. I thing, due to communication gap, a small misunderstanding took its peak point. this problem could hav been solved in a better way, if my so called anger drama would not hav been staged.but, i behaved i like animals.I used slang language to her, her family. i asked question on her virginity which was quite untolerable for her.very bad to say, i just hurted the dignity of a girl, a lover and a obidient daughter.THAT`S ALL. Every thing was over.the person who was ready to die for me, beceme the person who hate me the most. here, i would like to mention the otherside of the matter,each n every moment i was scolding her, it were not my words. I felt, somebody was forcing me to behave like animals and that power had absolute dominance on my natural tendency..I think, that was my genetic problem,my behaviour,my anger. but, at this period of time, when i hav my realisation with me,i m alone. niw , i hav realised my faults,my mistakes.i m trying my level best to reduce my anger and of course i m getting success.But to her, it`s enough.she is no more interested for re-union. she has not even 1% faith on me at this stage. please,help me,give some suggestions, i will die without her.believe me,at this point i have become helpless and aimless. the last meeting i had with her,a condition was finalised with us, that only after one year from now i can meet her and if she will find any good change in me, and if satisfied, she will give a YES.but i have come to know from my friend,she produced this condition only to avoid me.actually,her mental setup has been changed. she has fear for my cruel behaviour,she has no faith on me .good to say, she is not getting rid of that shocking chapter. FIMALLY, i can only say,i love her the most, i care for her the most,i also respect her the most. but opposite to my nature, what i did, was very bad. I M SMART ENOUGH TO ACCEPT MY MISTAKES AND BIG ENOUGH TO RECTIFY THEM. Plz,suggest me,how i will change her mental set up and eake her realise really what i m, how much i care for her. HOPING YOUR TIMELY HELP...THANKS
Question : sir,i m bijay, a 21 year old boy from orissa.my life starts like this, since childhood, i haven`t got actual care, affection,guidance from my parents which r primarily required to an infant for his overall and healthy development, physically,socially,culturally etc.this is bcoz their marital disturbances.again, i feel, i get angry very soon and act and behave like animals only at that moment.when realisation comes to me that i was wrong, everything is ended.this plays a destructivte role in every relation and every aspect of my life.Now,at this age, it is very clear to me,that it is a genetic problem.however, thank to god,my nature is something diffirent. I hav avery kind and childish heart full of emotions.well, the reason,i m explaining all these things is, myself with a positive nature but anger caused negative behaviour is proving to be a bad son,brother,friend and now a very bad lover. THE real present problem starts now.Before 4 years I was in love with a sweet and simple girl.as u know, i was a love and care hunger person from my child days, she gave me all these things , even if by sacrificing her many personal interests.we both were in true love.Really True.everything was fine for first 3 years.but, see luck,as i came to another town for higher studies, we had contact only through phone. I thing, due to communication gap, a small misunderstanding took its peak point. this problem could hav been solved in a better way, if my so called anger drama would not hav been staged.but, i behaved i like animals.I used slang language to her, her family. i asked question on her virginity which was quite untolerable for her.very bad to say, i just hurted the dignity of a girl, a lover and a obidient daughter.THAT`S ALL. Every thing was over.the person who was ready to die for me, beceme the person who hate me the most. here, i would like to mention the otherside of the matter,each n every moment i was scolding her, it were not my words. I felt, somebody was forcing me to behave like animals and that power had absolute dominance on my natural tendency..I think, that was my genetic problem,my behaviour,my anger. but, at this period of time, when i hav my realisation with me,i m alone. niw , i hav realised my faults,my mistakes.i m trying my level best to reduce my anger and of course i m getting success.But to her, it`s enough.she is no more interested for re-union. she has not even 1% faith on me at this stage. please,help me,give some suggestions, i will die without her.believe me,at this point i have become helpless and aimless. the last meeting i had with her,a condition was finalised with us, that only after one year from now i can meet her and if she will find any good change in me, and if satisfied, she will give a YES.but i have come to know from my friend,she produced this condition only to avoid me.actually,her mental setup has been changed. she has fear for my cruel behaviour,she has no faith on me .good to say, she is not getting rid of that shocking chapter. FIMALLY, i can only say,i love her the most, i care for her the most,i also respect her the most. but opposite to my nature, what i did, was very bad. I M SMART ENOUGH TO ACCEPT MY MISTAKES AND BIG ENOUGH TO RECTIFY THEM. Plz,suggest me,how i will change her mental set up and eake her realise really what i m, how much i care for her. HOPING YOUR TIMELY HELP...THANKS
-bijaya shree parida, (9/22/2007)
Love and hate are the same energy but in
opposite directions.Human is the source of multi
dimensional enregies love ,hate , anger etc . you love
and you hate the same person .
Here my friend human mind fuctions llke this when mind is going toward love at that be aware that now after some time mind will go to opposite direction means towards hate. Mind always goes like pendulum left to right and then from right to left. Be aware of these movements of the mind.
As per your mail I think you are having the feature ADHD(Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) write me more about your self and then I will send you a rating scale on which you can measure your personality .
I think you require psychiatrist consultation and psychotherapy session. take use of this situation to improve yourself.
NOW, SAY SORRY TO YOUR GIRL FRIEND IN SOFT MANNER and make a promise to yourself to improve your mistake.
And remember "THE GREATEST WARRIOR IS THAT WHO WINS OVER HIS OWN WEAKNESS".
Here my friend human mind fuctions llke this when mind is going toward love at that be aware that now after some time mind will go to opposite direction means towards hate. Mind always goes like pendulum left to right and then from right to left. Be aware of these movements of the mind.
As per your mail I think you are having the feature ADHD(Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) write me more about your self and then I will send you a rating scale on which you can measure your personality .
I think you require psychiatrist consultation and psychotherapy session. take use of this situation to improve yourself.
NOW, SAY SORRY TO YOUR GIRL FRIEND IN SOFT MANNER and make a promise to yourself to improve your mistake.
And remember "THE GREATEST WARRIOR IS THAT WHO WINS OVER HIS OWN WEAKNESS".
--
3 . Subject : dipression
Question : hi sir,I am 24yrs , i was in love with a girl.We love each other.We had a physical relation also.I just want to marry with her.She told me to be somthing.I tol;d her that i will try for my best.Now i am working in a firm.I am also preparing for upsc.But suddenly a boy whom he loved early came to her life.She started to talking with her.At that time i noticed that her atitude was changed towards me.She started to tell lie.I came to know that he proposed to marry with her.She had broken all the relation with me.She told to me that i dont want to keep any relation.Now i am very upset.I am not giving my hundred percent to my company.I became mentally sick.What i should do?please help me?
Question : hi sir,I am 24yrs , i was in love with a girl.We love each other.We had a physical relation also.I just want to marry with her.She told me to be somthing.I tol;d her that i will try for my best.Now i am working in a firm.I am also preparing for upsc.But suddenly a boy whom he loved early came to her life.She started to talking with her.At that time i noticed that her atitude was changed towards me.She started to tell lie.I came to know that he proposed to marry with her.She had broken all the relation with me.She told to me that i dont want to keep any relation.Now i am very upset.I am not giving my hundred percent to my company.I became mentally sick.What i should do?please help me?
-ashish kumar, (9/20/2007)
My dear friend it is very easy to fall in
Love,but very difficult to rise in love. I want you to
do it . Love is not to have it, love is to give it.
Love is flowering of being in one moment it is there
another moment it is not there. Feel happy that
atleast you have glimse of Love , people live, die and
they have not seen these glimses. if she wants to
marry other person its ok , if she wants to marry you
then its ok.Love always happens in now and here love
never happens in past or future. so be in present
moment focus on now , on work first I want you 100 %
to yourself then to company. Love is not to repent
upon, love is live. Love is mystey not a problem.
--
4 . Subject : personal problem
Question : please help me try to give the solution as soon as possible ,i kno its wrong to say u will do ur best,bt i m really distrubd n getting v depressed i m inlove with sumone n so do he,i kno him 4rm apox 1 yr,being a girl i ask him again n agian tat do u love me n ask n expects to assure me tat u will marry me,bt he doesnt like tat coz he says tat we had already discussd n decided abt it n says tat wen the right time will cum he will try his level best,he is against to run away n he cant go against his family but i m a part of joint family n my father is v v v orthodox n rigid its too difficult to convence him) my elder sister n mother are aware of all this the r with me. my problem is tat wen he doesnt assure me n says tat hw can he assure me abt the future he say he can assure me abt his efforts then it distrubs me coz we r too close now n physically involved. please help as i m going in depression please
Question : please help me try to give the solution as soon as possible ,i kno its wrong to say u will do ur best,bt i m really distrubd n getting v depressed i m inlove with sumone n so do he,i kno him 4rm apox 1 yr,being a girl i ask him again n agian tat do u love me n ask n expects to assure me tat u will marry me,bt he doesnt like tat coz he says tat we had already discussd n decided abt it n says tat wen the right time will cum he will try his level best,he is against to run away n he cant go against his family but i m a part of joint family n my father is v v v orthodox n rigid its too difficult to convence him) my elder sister n mother are aware of all this the r with me. my problem is tat wen he doesnt assure me n says tat hw can he assure me abt the future he say he can assure me abt his efforts then it distrubs me coz we r too close now n physically involved. please help as i m going in depression please
-Poonam, (9/19/2007)
First you have not informed me about your
age. What you are doing?. But my suggestion to you is
that go deeper into the feeling of disturbance , go more
deeper in to that feeling this feeling will make you
aware at feeling , emotional level. This process will
give you more maturity , it will make you aware of
your inner being which is undisturbed , unmoving by
outer situation. Be centered on that centre of inner
being.
Then decide about this relationship . Trust on your
inner being let the being decide it. Let go of your I
, Judgement etc. Just Let go.
--
5 . Subject : Loss of faith in goodness
Question : hi sir.. im a 19yr girl.. i've been seeing a guy for about half a year now.. had known him a year plus before that. my problem is that i cant hv faith in him.. he spends a lot of time with me.. yet, everytime tht v r apart, i feel as if hes seeing sm1 else behind my back. he dsnt love his family too much since he is adopted so everytime he tells me tht hes out for dinner on his own because of watever reasons, i just cnt believe him. even though he loves my family more than i do n treats us all very beautifully, i start to belive that all this is fake.. as if hes playing a game on me.. as if its all planed. he was a flirt wen i met him but did nothing wrong to any girl.. above all, v share a very healthy sex life besides d bond of understanding built in all this while.. but despite all that, i just cant stop doubting him n being insecure about him hs becm my second nature. badly need ur help. thanks..
Question : hi sir.. im a 19yr girl.. i've been seeing a guy for about half a year now.. had known him a year plus before that. my problem is that i cant hv faith in him.. he spends a lot of time with me.. yet, everytime tht v r apart, i feel as if hes seeing sm1 else behind my back. he dsnt love his family too much since he is adopted so everytime he tells me tht hes out for dinner on his own because of watever reasons, i just cnt believe him. even though he loves my family more than i do n treats us all very beautifully, i start to belive that all this is fake.. as if hes playing a game on me.. as if its all planed. he was a flirt wen i met him but did nothing wrong to any girl.. above all, v share a very healthy sex life besides d bond of understanding built in all this while.. but despite all that, i just cant stop doubting him n being insecure about him hs becm my second nature. badly need ur help. thanks..
-somya, (9/13/2007)
First go inside yourself do you trust yourself
, do you have faith in your self. You don't have faith
in him because you do not have faith in yourself. And
if you have very healthy sex life then build upon
that sex is first step to physical, then emotional
and last spiritual harmony with your partner.
--
6 . Subject : Masturbation
Question : Sir, Before 2 yrs I use to masturbate once in three days. But after that i slowly reduced to once in a week,then once in two months like that. No problems were there till before some ten months. Because at that time only I completely stopped. Eventhough I stopped doing intensionaly, Once in 30 to 35 days, sperms get automattically ejaculated accompanied with a sexy dream that night. I'm not watching any porn movies or reading erotic stories. Everything happening in normal circumstance only. Is it a medical proble. Will I have to consult a doctor?
Question : Sir, Before 2 yrs I use to masturbate once in three days. But after that i slowly reduced to once in a week,then once in two months like that. No problems were there till before some ten months. Because at that time only I completely stopped. Eventhough I stopped doing intensionaly, Once in 30 to 35 days, sperms get automattically ejaculated accompanied with a sexy dream that night. I'm not watching any porn movies or reading erotic stories. Everything happening in normal circumstance only. Is it a medical proble. Will I have to consult a doctor?
-Vignesh, (9/9/2007)
No need to consult doctor at this juncture .
everything is going normal. Nothing is abnormal,
nothing to worry about.
--
7 . Subject : distracted mind
Question : sir i am in du n i m nt in a habit of being single.n nw m single n dat thing is disturbing me.so hw can i cope up wid dis problem
Question : sir i am in du n i m nt in a habit of being single.n nw m single n dat thing is disturbing me.so hw can i cope up wid dis problem
-yash, (9/8/2007)
Dear friend, everybody has born alone , has been living
alone , one day die alone. This very world is nothing
but big stage here every body is coming try to play
their role perfectly or imperfectly and then leave the
stage one day. Try to explore this aloneness. This
wonderful experience.
--
8 . Subject : AIDS
Question : Sir if any body have anal or oral sex with man or woman of HIV+ then what have possibility that they will aslo HIV+
Question : Sir if any body have anal or oral sex with man or woman of HIV+ then what have possibility that they will aslo HIV+
-Rohit, (9/7/2007)
Yes.
--
9 . Subject : negative feelings
Question : sir, my prblem is when ever isaw the family(or)a single person facing a problem i will think that in my view and i will get crying and scold the god for giving them that problem.thanQ®ards.
Question : sir, my prblem is when ever isaw the family(or)a single person facing a problem i will think that in my view and i will get crying and scold the god for giving them that problem.thanQ®ards.
-gupta, (9/6/2007)
You are having emotional sensitivity, just be
aware of that sensitivity how this is creating
depressed mood.Try to observe the thoughts ,then
feeling at that moment .write it down in dairy and
then you will come to know that how thought
(cognitions) ,feeling , actions are
interconnected.only after sometimes you will be able
to achive some mastery over this sensitivity.
--
10 . Subject : aids
Question : sir, l want to ask a question.i was partying with my friends and we were drinking.one of my friend aroused me by touching my genitals.he took my penis into his mouth.but i was shocked and i jumped out.my penis was in his mouth for 4 to 5 sec.i don't know whether he had aids.i am really scared.will i get aids.pls help me in this.waiting for ur reply.
Question : sir, l want to ask a question.i was partying with my friends and we were drinking.one of my friend aroused me by touching my genitals.he took my penis into his mouth.but i was shocked and i jumped out.my penis was in his mouth for 4 to 5 sec.i don't know whether he had aids.i am really scared.will i get aids.pls help me in this.waiting for ur reply.
-deepak, (8/4/2007)
No. You cannot have the AIDS by keep the penis
in your friend’s mouth for 4-5 seconds.
--
11 . Subject : masturbation
Question : sir, i have a big problem that whenever i see a sexy/hot picture in web or poster etc i masturbate whether it is 3 times a week or 2 times a week.even i cant avoid such circumstances because my environment is like that.so what shall i do to overcome this problem as i want to stop it.to be healthy how many times one shall masturbate a week.
Question : sir, i have a big problem that whenever i see a sexy/hot picture in web or poster etc i masturbate whether it is 3 times a week or 2 times a week.even i cant avoid such circumstances because my environment is like that.so what shall i do to overcome this problem as i want to stop it.to be healthy how many times one shall masturbate a week.
-siva, (7/28/2007)
It is very common to get sexually aroused by
watching the picture.kindly avoid watching the picture
or web. You know sex is one way to be one with our
partner physically, mentally ,spritiually.
You are using it like sneezing throwing the extra energy.My friend, your age 22 years devote your effort ,put 100% of your into career making, for studying this is a only constructive way to overcome this.
You can do some extra curricular activities, sports, yoga etc to avoid too much sexual thinking. By doing so, you can channelise your energy for productive purposes. That will give GREATER dividend in the long run.
Regarding how many times in week it depends on your sexual appitite.
You are using it like sneezing throwing the extra energy.My friend, your age 22 years devote your effort ,put 100% of your into career making, for studying this is a only constructive way to overcome this.
You can do some extra curricular activities, sports, yoga etc to avoid too much sexual thinking. By doing so, you can channelise your energy for productive purposes. That will give GREATER dividend in the long run.
Regarding how many times in week it depends on your sexual appitite.
--
12 . Subject : about my life
Question : Respected Sir,my life has become a hell for me as there are many incidents which has made me to realise that i am not capable to live further Actually i am an aspirant of CSE and upto 10 i was a scholar i made upto 80 % in every exam but after i took science my 11 was ok but in 12 a strange thing happened again by which hearing you may laugh or even may make fun of me then i misunderstood regarding date of my english board exam.The thing happened was that i thought that my exam might be on 25/3/2006 but it was on 24/3/2006 and this day was my last day to live happy. I dont know at all why did it happened to me as i did not even do like this for my tests which ar normal and in board exam it happened to me.Then again after a lot struggle i took admission in BSc and thought that it might have happrnrd for my good only but again i had a tragedy and what happened this time did not happen to me any time in my life even i failed in FY BSc. Now i m feeling to kill myself. i am not able to thimk what i should do and what not to do i have completely lost my confidence.Sir please help me to survive further and advice me what to do further in life i will wait for your reply
Question : Respected Sir,my life has become a hell for me as there are many incidents which has made me to realise that i am not capable to live further Actually i am an aspirant of CSE and upto 10 i was a scholar i made upto 80 % in every exam but after i took science my 11 was ok but in 12 a strange thing happened again by which hearing you may laugh or even may make fun of me then i misunderstood regarding date of my english board exam.The thing happened was that i thought that my exam might be on 25/3/2006 but it was on 24/3/2006 and this day was my last day to live happy. I dont know at all why did it happened to me as i did not even do like this for my tests which ar normal and in board exam it happened to me.Then again after a lot struggle i took admission in BSc and thought that it might have happrnrd for my good only but again i had a tragedy and what happened this time did not happen to me any time in my life even i failed in FY BSc. Now i m feeling to kill myself. i am not able to thimk what i should do and what not to do i have completely lost my confidence.Sir please help me to survive further and advice me what to do further in life i will wait for your reply
-pari, (7/24/2007)
After going through your mail , I think you are you
going through Depression . NEVER EVER THINK OF
COMMITING SUICIDE.
It is permanent solution for temporary problems.
You require few session of psychotherapy and counseling .Consult some psychiatrist in your town and get yourself trained in relaxation techniques and how to counter the negative thoughts (Cognitive behavior therapy).
Greatest victory on the planet earth is victory on oneself , our own weakness , learn how to direct the negative energy into positive direction. If you want more help let me know.
It is permanent solution for temporary problems.
You require few session of psychotherapy and counseling .Consult some psychiatrist in your town and get yourself trained in relaxation techniques and how to counter the negative thoughts (Cognitive behavior therapy).
Greatest victory on the planet earth is victory on oneself , our own weakness , learn how to direct the negative energy into positive direction. If you want more help let me know.
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13 . Subject : black marks on my legs
Question : SIR,I HAVE BEEN A GOOD SPORTS MAN DOING VIGOROUS EXERCISES... DURING THOSE DAYS A FRIEND SUGGESTED ME TO TAKE "ALTHROMYCIN OR ERYTHROMYCIN" FOR GOOD ENHANSEMENT IN ANY PERFORMANCE....LATER I HAD BIKE AND USED TO GET MY LEG BRUISED ON MISSING THE KICK START CAUSING A WOUND AND LATER BLACK MARK.......EVN A SMALL SCRATCH CUASES BLACK MARK AND WHEN I DO DRESSING FOUND THAT MY LEGS OPPOSITE TO CALF MUSCLES (FRONTAL PORTION BELOW KNEES)ARE LOOKING VERY UGLY WITH BLACK SPOTS OR SCARS LIKE......PL SUGGEAT REMEDY FOR THE REMOVAL AND THERE IS NO PAIN OR ANY OTHER INFECTION....JUST KICKER MARKS..PL HELP ME IAM ALSO DIABETIC WITH 1- 2% SUGAR.......
Question : SIR,I HAVE BEEN A GOOD SPORTS MAN DOING VIGOROUS EXERCISES... DURING THOSE DAYS A FRIEND SUGGESTED ME TO TAKE "ALTHROMYCIN OR ERYTHROMYCIN" FOR GOOD ENHANSEMENT IN ANY PERFORMANCE....LATER I HAD BIKE AND USED TO GET MY LEG BRUISED ON MISSING THE KICK START CAUSING A WOUND AND LATER BLACK MARK.......EVN A SMALL SCRATCH CUASES BLACK MARK AND WHEN I DO DRESSING FOUND THAT MY LEGS OPPOSITE TO CALF MUSCLES (FRONTAL PORTION BELOW KNEES)ARE LOOKING VERY UGLY WITH BLACK SPOTS OR SCARS LIKE......PL SUGGEAT REMEDY FOR THE REMOVAL AND THERE IS NO PAIN OR ANY OTHER INFECTION....JUST KICKER MARKS..PL HELP ME IAM ALSO DIABETIC WITH 1- 2% SUGAR.......
-sj akbar, (7/15/2007)
Kindly consult your physician . test fasting
and PP(2 hours after taking the meals) blood sugar
level immediately and take these reports with you .
kindly do not take medicine for performance
enhancement.
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14 . Subject : NOT SURE ABOUT MY FUTURE
Question : SIR, I MY AN ENGG. STUDENTS & I HAD A GUD ACADEMIC RECORD PREVIOUS YEAR.BUT COULDN'T MANAGE TO CLEAR MY FINAL SEMESTER....SO I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY I SHOULD DO...N WHERE SHOULD I'LL B LANDING....AT TIMES I THINK FOR GOING IN PUBLIC SECTOR....OR SOMTIMES ABOUT DOING MBA....OR A JOB SEARCH I EXACTLY DONN HAVE A CLEAR VISION.....I DON'T MY DEGREE TO....SO I COULDN'T THINK NOTHING ...MY PARENTS WANT ME TO DO A JOB BECAUSE ALL OTHER FRIENDS OF MINE ARE RECRUITED IN VARIOUS FIRMS LIKE TCS,L$T,SATYAM...BUT I COULDN'T MAKE IT....
Question : SIR, I MY AN ENGG. STUDENTS & I HAD A GUD ACADEMIC RECORD PREVIOUS YEAR.BUT COULDN'T MANAGE TO CLEAR MY FINAL SEMESTER....SO I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY I SHOULD DO...N WHERE SHOULD I'LL B LANDING....AT TIMES I THINK FOR GOING IN PUBLIC SECTOR....OR SOMTIMES ABOUT DOING MBA....OR A JOB SEARCH I EXACTLY DONN HAVE A CLEAR VISION.....I DON'T MY DEGREE TO....SO I COULDN'T THINK NOTHING ...MY PARENTS WANT ME TO DO A JOB BECAUSE ALL OTHER FRIENDS OF MINE ARE RECRUITED IN VARIOUS FIRMS LIKE TCS,L$T,SATYAM...BUT I COULDN'T MAKE IT....
-VIBHUTI, (7/13/2007)
First thing first .So, first clear your exams
and think of something else.what your friend are doing
you should not be bothered about what you are doing
that is important. Kindly focus on the studies so that
you will clear the last semester and then think what
should you do.
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15 . Subject : quiery
Question : my age 25,recentlycompleted B.EIT DIPLOMASO my problem is my mind is viewring not stable andwork effiency is low what are advice for this problem from your side
Question : my age 25,recentlycompleted B.EIT DIPLOMASO my problem is my mind is viewring not stable andwork effiency is low what are advice for this problem from your side
-mayank, (7/10/2007)
Learn, how to mediate. If possible consult
psychiatrist in your town. Kindly send me more details
regarding your problem. Why you are feeling unstable ,
why your efficiency is going low. Any stressors are
present let me know.
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16 . Subject : Please guide
Question : Dear Doctor, I had unprotected oral sex 20 days ago with a girl of unknown HIV status. She fingered herself first and then with the same hand touched my penis. (in between i also fingered here once for 2 minutes) Please let me know the chances of me contracting HIV infection. I am having sore throat and mild. Iwant to do a test which can give immediate correct result, kindly let me know where can it be done in Mumbai (kandivali) and how much should be the cost.
Question : Dear Doctor, I had unprotected oral sex 20 days ago with a girl of unknown HIV status. She fingered herself first and then with the same hand touched my penis. (in between i also fingered here once for 2 minutes) Please let me know the chances of me contracting HIV infection. I am having sore throat and mild. Iwant to do a test which can give immediate correct result, kindly let me know where can it be done in Mumbai (kandivali) and how much should be the cost.
-Anoup, (7/5/2007)
Yes. Your chances of contacting HIV infection
is high.kindly take some antibiotics and anti
allergics , consult ENT doctor . NEVER INDULGE IN
THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOUR.
You may visit near by VCTC ( Voluntary Counselling and Testing Centre) also to test your HIV status. This service is FREE. The list is available in the site. You can chhose the near by one.
If you are looking for a private hospital hospital in Kandivali Mumbai. Cost is in between 450 -600 Rupees.
You may visit near by VCTC ( Voluntary Counselling and Testing Centre) also to test your HIV status. This service is FREE. The list is available in the site. You can chhose the near by one.
If you are looking for a private hospital hospital in Kandivali Mumbai. Cost is in between 450 -600 Rupees.
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17 . Subject : lack of confidence
Question : respected sir/madam my age is 22 yrs.my height is 4.9.weight is 33kgs.i m worried about my health very much .how to developed my personality.im getting married also in 3 months.i dont know wat to do.plz suggest me.
Question : respected sir/madam my age is 22 yrs.my height is 4.9.weight is 33kgs.i m worried about my health very much .how to developed my personality.im getting married also in 3 months.i dont know wat to do.plz suggest me.
-sharada, (7/2/2007)
Hi, the word personality comes from the word persona
means a mask , never try to develop it , try to
develop your inner being means what actually you are,
do not try to create facade around yourself. Be
truthful to yourself about your weekness and strengths
and work on it. Means try to find what are your
weekness at mental , emotional level, what you think
about yourself is more important than what people
thinks about you.
Belive yourself, trust your inner being. regarding your weight and height .my suggestion to you is that do regular excercise and walk about 2 km/day,develop to create harmonious relationship with yourself, family and friends you will need this skill after your marriage. My good wishes for future , have harmonuios married life.
Belive yourself, trust your inner being. regarding your weight and height .my suggestion to you is that do regular excercise and walk about 2 km/day,develop to create harmonious relationship with yourself, family and friends you will need this skill after your marriage. My good wishes for future , have harmonuios married life.
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18 . Subject : how to convince parents
Question : Dear sir/madam, I am in love with a boy since 3 years. he is 1.5 years younger than me. the problem is I informed my parents abt him. they said no , we cant give you to that family because they r economically lower than us. he is loving me very much. we cant live without each other . i told my parents that i cant live without him. then also they didnt accept. i explained my parents very politely and very firmly. His parents accepted our love and they r ready to marry but we want to get marry with the permission of my parents. tell me a solution for this. thank u.
Question : Dear sir/madam, I am in love with a boy since 3 years. he is 1.5 years younger than me. the problem is I informed my parents abt him. they said no , we cant give you to that family because they r economically lower than us. he is loving me very much. we cant live without each other . i told my parents that i cant live without him. then also they didnt accept. i explained my parents very politely and very firmly. His parents accepted our love and they r ready to marry but we want to get marry with the permission of my parents. tell me a solution for this. thank u.
-shanthi, (6/15/2007)
My friend , first go inside yourself find out whether it is love or Lust .
If it is lust simply forget about it . If it is love then try to understand what love is. love is state of being,it is deep esctasy, it is bliss.
Love is very powerful energy,it will give you the expansive growth of your being only if it is real.
If it is real every thing in world will have different dimension, it will burn your ego , identity and then "REAL YOU" will emerge.
After doing this much introspection, let me know and then I will tell you how to convince the parents.
If it is lust simply forget about it . If it is love then try to understand what love is. love is state of being,it is deep esctasy, it is bliss.
Love is very powerful energy,it will give you the expansive growth of your being only if it is real.
If it is real every thing in world will have different dimension, it will burn your ego , identity and then "REAL YOU" will emerge.
After doing this much introspection, let me know and then I will tell you how to convince the parents.
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19 . Subject : satisfaction in life
Question : hello sir/madam,nice to see your responses toward various personal issues.what i want to ask satisfaction in life...i had a struggling life from my childhood.i worked very hard even beyond my capacity,i got success to at par my expections.problem is here expections are runing at the speed of supersonic jet but my speed toward their sucess is jut of a train....this mismatch is a great cause of frustraion developing underneath.THANKS,Aks
Question : hello sir/madam,nice to see your responses toward various personal issues.what i want to ask satisfaction in life...i had a struggling life from my childhood.i worked very hard even beyond my capacity,i got success to at par my expections.problem is here expections are runing at the speed of supersonic jet but my speed toward their sucess is jut of a train....this mismatch is a great cause of frustraion developing underneath.THANKS,Aks
-Aksdeep Singh, (6/7/2007)
Dear friend , depression creaps in when there is
difference between real and the imagined situation.
i think you are fighting with the life. my suggestion
you is let go of the things , flow like river.
First go inside for self actualiziation. decide what is physical , emotional , mental and spiritual needs. then go for it. answer lies in awereness. tries to be more , more aware at physical, emotional ,mental ,spiritual level. Then it open the doors of unknown ,peak experience.
First go inside for self actualiziation. decide what is physical , emotional , mental and spiritual needs. then go for it. answer lies in awereness. tries to be more , more aware at physical, emotional ,mental ,spiritual level. Then it open the doors of unknown ,peak experience.
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20 . Subject : AIDS Awareness
Question : Dear sir, can we say that knowledge is control of HIV/AIDS, because some people know about HIV/AIDS but not control himself.
Question : Dear sir, can we say that knowledge is control of HIV/AIDS, because some people know about HIV/AIDS but not control himself.
-Sanjeev K. Yadav, (6/3/2007)
Yes. Knowledge is the only vaccine available now, provided people follow/practice the knowledge base.
For example, It is like jumping from 10 floor building without knowing the consequences. By experience people/elders used tell youths and other people of our community "NOT TO DO" or "DON'T DO" in case of jumping from the 10th floor. If you jump, you may hurt or even die. So, don't try those like that. Even there are people jump and commit suicide or hurt themselves. Those are the aberrations from the regular.There are sometimes it happens because of accident. Then, we can't help. That is out of our control.
As far as protection from HIV/AIDS infection is concerned, one should follwe the strategy of ABC ie " Abstinance" or delay sexual debut till you get married & "Be faithful" ie Be faithful to your partner ie Avoid sex outside marriage. The third and VITAL one for today's society is, if you can't follow both the above, use condom if you encounter sex contacts.
For example, It is like jumping from 10 floor building without knowing the consequences. By experience people/elders used tell youths and other people of our community "NOT TO DO" or "DON'T DO" in case of jumping from the 10th floor. If you jump, you may hurt or even die. So, don't try those like that. Even there are people jump and commit suicide or hurt themselves. Those are the aberrations from the regular.There are sometimes it happens because of accident. Then, we can't help. That is out of our control.
As far as protection from HIV/AIDS infection is concerned, one should follwe the strategy of ABC ie " Abstinance" or delay sexual debut till you get married & "Be faithful" ie Be faithful to your partner ie Avoid sex outside marriage. The third and VITAL one for today's society is, if you can't follow both the above, use condom if you encounter sex contacts.
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21 . Subject : PLEASE SUGGEST.......................
Question : Good afternoon, i am a college student and is in love with a guy who used to be my best friend.It was me who first expressed her feelings.He also said that he also share the same for me but was not finding the courage. Every thing was going on fine till the day when i met my dream man.After few days of aquaintance he proposed me. Now i am in a great dillema regarding what to do ?Was my proposing to my best friend a momentary impulse?He is madly in love with me ,this much i know about him.At the same time my dream man also insists me upon having a relationship. Whether to ditch my best friend cum boy friend or to reject my dream man! Please help.......
Question : Good afternoon, i am a college student and is in love with a guy who used to be my best friend.It was me who first expressed her feelings.He also said that he also share the same for me but was not finding the courage. Every thing was going on fine till the day when i met my dream man.After few days of aquaintance he proposed me. Now i am in a great dillema regarding what to do ?Was my proposing to my best friend a momentary impulse?He is madly in love with me ,this much i know about him.At the same time my dream man also insists me upon having a relationship. Whether to ditch my best friend cum boy friend or to reject my dream man! Please help.......
-TRISHNA, (6/1/2007)
Love means perfect harmony of male and female energy
at physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level.
My suggestion to you is to fellow your instinct, gut
feeling.
Life is not a problem; it is a great mystery to live.
Life is not a problem; it is a great mystery to live.
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22 . Subject : cant talk to opposite sex.
Question : ME 24, gud qualificatoin this side, well when comes to talking with gals i cant manage it atleast when they're of my age, although manage some how on phone but when they're face to face cant describe that nerves level, me totally alone hardly any frnds my attitude is always towards destruction, either be on cyber, or law fully. parents are open minded they even allow to party with alcho and cigarrets @ HOME some times with frnds, but i love to ditch them any time, even i dont care for them. should i consult a psychiatrist. for gals and all me looking for sadism kindda of sex and all help if u can.
Question : ME 24, gud qualificatoin this side, well when comes to talking with gals i cant manage it atleast when they're of my age, although manage some how on phone but when they're face to face cant describe that nerves level, me totally alone hardly any frnds my attitude is always towards destruction, either be on cyber, or law fully. parents are open minded they even allow to party with alcho and cigarrets @ HOME some times with frnds, but i love to ditch them any time, even i dont care for them. should i consult a psychiatrist. for gals and all me looking for sadism kindda of sex and all help if u can.
-Ashutosh, (5/31/2007)
According to my opinion, you are developing phobia. My
suggestion to you is that observe you’re thought,
feelings when you talk to girls and try to find out
why you are feeling this. Try to correct the negative
thoughts coming to you.
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23 . Subject : penis enlargement
Question : sir,is there any medicine to increase the size of penis and cure erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation
Question : sir,is there any medicine to increase the size of penis and cure erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation
-debabrata, (5/24/2007)
There is no medicine for penis enlargement.
But there are medicine for erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.
My suggestion to you is before taking this type of medicine kindly consult Doctor. Doctor may advice some investigation before starting these medicines. Kindly take medicine under medical supervision.
But there are medicine for erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.
My suggestion to you is before taking this type of medicine kindly consult Doctor. Doctor may advice some investigation before starting these medicines. Kindly take medicine under medical supervision.
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24 . Subject : masturbation
Question : i do it for 2 times per day. is there any bad effect of masturbation on health ? can it effect on study performance and my physical activities such as running etc?
Question : i do it for 2 times per day. is there any bad effect of masturbation on health ? can it effect on study performance and my physical activities such as running etc?
-r, (5/21/2007)
No, there is no bad effect of masturbation on health
but excess can harm you.
During masturbation person goes through very suggestive phase if you have a belief that it will harm then definitely it will harm, if you have a belief that it will help you to get rid of tension then it will help you. It depends upon your belief system.
It is effect on physical activity i.e. running it slow down the running, on study it reduce the reading speed.
During masturbation person goes through very suggestive phase if you have a belief that it will harm then definitely it will harm, if you have a belief that it will help you to get rid of tension then it will help you. It depends upon your belief system.
It is effect on physical activity i.e. running it slow down the running, on study it reduce the reading speed.
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25 . Subject : stuck up in life,confused
Question : to talk of i am a guy from a middle class family background. brought up in mumbai. i am a very good dancer and a very creative person. till 12 th i had the best grades, wanted to do engineering but as i did not get a college of my choice i left all plans of engineering came to delhi danced a lot and screwed up my first year exams, and then the whole bad thing started' had a gf who was there with me for 2 years, in 2nd year i flunked, after that i have tried a number of times to rise up but failed my girl friend too left me every one either hates me or laughs on me i am really pissed off i dont know what to do want to do good in life
Question : to talk of i am a guy from a middle class family background. brought up in mumbai. i am a very good dancer and a very creative person. till 12 th i had the best grades, wanted to do engineering but as i did not get a college of my choice i left all plans of engineering came to delhi danced a lot and screwed up my first year exams, and then the whole bad thing started' had a gf who was there with me for 2 years, in 2nd year i flunked, after that i have tried a number of times to rise up but failed my girl friend too left me every one either hates me or laughs on me i am really pissed off i dont know what to do want to do good in life
-ashutosh, (5/14/2007)
My dear friend person who is confused becomes confuse
one day.
Nothing wrong in confusion , remain with the confusion
face it with totality, let the emotional scar go
inside you , hurt you in deeper ways , let this
feelings burns you . After this experience, you will
able to understand your creative energy and its dance.
As I feel you, very creative person is hiding inside
you, help him to manifest.
Do regular meditation, exercise. Learn some cathartic
exercise it will help you to let go of negative
emotions.
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26 . Subject : cure for distraction
Question : Respected sir/ma'am, I get distracted very easily...some times i just can't keep my head in studies..due to this my performance has gone down..pl suggest a method by which i can improve my concentration while studying..
Question : Respected sir/ma'am, I get distracted very easily...some times i just can't keep my head in studies..due to this my performance has gone down..pl suggest a method by which i can improve my concentration while studying..
-kAbiR, (5/14/2007)
Friend to improve concentration. Try to become aware
of breath. Sit in comfortable position and close your
eyes, then become aware of breath going in, going out
(means be aware of inhalation and exhalation, not to
change the rate and rhythm of breath) practice it for
3-4 weeks in alone. You will find your concentration
and retention is improved. If more help is required
let me know.
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27 . Subject : guide my future.
Question : Dear Sir/madam, First of all let me convey my heartfelt thanks to you."Thank you" for giving an oppurtunity to discuss my burning problem .Iam an economics graduateMBa(marketing)(2002-2004batch) .I am a brahmin by birth .i fell in love with a Muslim guy when i was doing my MBA.though at times we used to quarell we loved very sincerely.He is one year yonger to me.We both slept together and had sex.Both our families are very orthodox and its a fact that it seems the chances of our relationship turning to reality is almost nil.He is working for a reputed firm. Though he earns good salary he is not in a position to marry me as he has many financial liabilities.My parents are unaware of our relationship and now they are looking vehemently for my marriage. Iam somehow getting rid of the proposals without letting them knw that it is because of my affair iam not interested in the alliances.I had an injury on my body which got cured now after 4 yrs of treatment.Now; on one hand being an Mba , Iam not getting a job as i was not working due to my injury since i completed the course;and on the other hand my family is in search of a partner for me...Iam really stressed out very much...My lover dnt have any solution...neither he is saying he cant marry nor that he will marry. As I am getting aged...the society which i live also poses so much of pressure on me as well as on my family...for not getting me married .I never attend any social function and i am devoid of all social contacts.All my friends have left my place and someare married and settled.Some are woking for reputed firms.Though I as a very bright student and passed with 70%marks ;I failed to build my career and future life due to unforeseen problems.I live in a township area.I am restricted to leave the place due to some family problems.My elder and younger brothers are married and settled. They come once in a way.Thatz how the family background is .My parents gets frustrated and it is reflected on their bhaviour with me as i am not agereing for the upcoming proposals...Icannot think of a person other than my lover....same with him..Both of us are very much attached to our families as well.I am somehow managing each day to pass on.. iam tottally stressed out like anything...and frustrated.Please give me your valid suggestion as to how to proceed further both in my personal and career aspects so that ican in some way get out of my deteriorating state of mind...Thank you...Eagerly waithing for a reply from u Sir/madam.Bye
Question : Dear Sir/madam, First of all let me convey my heartfelt thanks to you."Thank you" for giving an oppurtunity to discuss my burning problem .Iam an economics graduateMBa(marketing)(2002-2004batch) .I am a brahmin by birth .i fell in love with a Muslim guy when i was doing my MBA.though at times we used to quarell we loved very sincerely.He is one year yonger to me.We both slept together and had sex.Both our families are very orthodox and its a fact that it seems the chances of our relationship turning to reality is almost nil.He is working for a reputed firm. Though he earns good salary he is not in a position to marry me as he has many financial liabilities.My parents are unaware of our relationship and now they are looking vehemently for my marriage. Iam somehow getting rid of the proposals without letting them knw that it is because of my affair iam not interested in the alliances.I had an injury on my body which got cured now after 4 yrs of treatment.Now; on one hand being an Mba , Iam not getting a job as i was not working due to my injury since i completed the course;and on the other hand my family is in search of a partner for me...Iam really stressed out very much...My lover dnt have any solution...neither he is saying he cant marry nor that he will marry. As I am getting aged...the society which i live also poses so much of pressure on me as well as on my family...for not getting me married .I never attend any social function and i am devoid of all social contacts.All my friends have left my place and someare married and settled.Some are woking for reputed firms.Though I as a very bright student and passed with 70%marks ;I failed to build my career and future life due to unforeseen problems.I live in a township area.I am restricted to leave the place due to some family problems.My elder and younger brothers are married and settled. They come once in a way.Thatz how the family background is .My parents gets frustrated and it is reflected on their bhaviour with me as i am not agereing for the upcoming proposals...Icannot think of a person other than my lover....same with him..Both of us are very much attached to our families as well.I am somehow managing each day to pass on.. iam tottally stressed out like anything...and frustrated.Please give me your valid suggestion as to how to proceed further both in my personal and career aspects so that ican in some way get out of my deteriorating state of mind...Thank you...Eagerly waithing for a reply from u Sir/madam.Bye
-ammu, (5/1/2007)
First thing to do is find the suitable job for
yourself because it will give you, self-confidence and
enhance self esteem. In between talk to your friends.
Then let family member finds suitable match for you
(this time do not reject) and get married.
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28 . Subject : about my life
Question : sir i was married in the age of 24. my husband is very caring but problem is that they have a serious physical relationship with their male friend (gay)and this friend is his best friend and this relationship was carried on from their college days. still my husband spent almost every Saturday night with his friend. both my husband and friend work in same company. i have seen with my eyes and my husband also accepted that they cannot leave his friend. he marriage with me because his parents force him to do so and his friend is not married yet and he has decided not to marry in life. now what shall i do i do not know.i want to do suicide but i cannot because we have a small kid of 1 year. when my husband in the bed with me he gives me full satisfaction but he accept that he cannot leave his friend and cannot stop this relationship because he always treat his friend as his first wife,. how i can stop this gay activity of my husband and of their friend. what should i do .help me .if u will not help me i will surely commit suicide.waiting of your reply
Question : sir i was married in the age of 24. my husband is very caring but problem is that they have a serious physical relationship with their male friend (gay)and this friend is his best friend and this relationship was carried on from their college days. still my husband spent almost every Saturday night with his friend. both my husband and friend work in same company. i have seen with my eyes and my husband also accepted that they cannot leave his friend. he marriage with me because his parents force him to do so and his friend is not married yet and he has decided not to marry in life. now what shall i do i do not know.i want to do suicide but i cannot because we have a small kid of 1 year. when my husband in the bed with me he gives me full satisfaction but he accept that he cannot leave his friend and cannot stop this relationship because he always treat his friend as his first wife,. how i can stop this gay activity of my husband and of their friend. what should i do .help me .if u will not help me i will surely commit suicide.waiting of your reply
-anita, (4/23/2007)
Homosexuality refers to erotic desire for the person
of same sex.
Heterosexuality refers to erotic desire for the person of opposite sex.
Bisexuality refers to erotic desire for the person of both sexes. Here your husband is involving in bisexual relationship.
My suggestion to you is
1) you should never think of committing suicide.
2) Talk to your husband in calm and quite environment that he requires some help so as to that he should be aware of his bisexual relationship, then to accept this.
3) Then take some steps to avoid the homosexual relationships.
4) If you need some more help let me know.
Heterosexuality refers to erotic desire for the person of opposite sex.
Bisexuality refers to erotic desire for the person of both sexes. Here your husband is involving in bisexual relationship.
My suggestion to you is
1) you should never think of committing suicide.
2) Talk to your husband in calm and quite environment that he requires some help so as to that he should be aware of his bisexual relationship, then to accept this.
3) Then take some steps to avoid the homosexual relationships.
4) If you need some more help let me know.
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29 . Subject : about relationship
Question : sir i am a gay and i have a relationship with my roommate from last 7 years. we are not only physically attached but also we are emotionally attached. but from last year my friends parents force him to get marry and i also realized that he now wants to have a sexual relationship with girls. but i am too emotionally attached with him that i cannot live without him . also from last 3 months i cannot concentrate on my studies. he is still my room partner and still we used to have sex once within 2 days. i am very much tensed. i cannot marry to other girl because i think that i have lost my verginality and this is ethically wrong.so please help me . i also do not have any attraction with girls that why i cannot do marriage. now there is a question that what should we do .what should i do because i cannot live without him. plz help me because i cannot share this problem to any one.if he will be married then how my whole life will be spent.
Question : sir i am a gay and i have a relationship with my roommate from last 7 years. we are not only physically attached but also we are emotionally attached. but from last year my friends parents force him to get marry and i also realized that he now wants to have a sexual relationship with girls. but i am too emotionally attached with him that i cannot live without him . also from last 3 months i cannot concentrate on my studies. he is still my room partner and still we used to have sex once within 2 days. i am very much tensed. i cannot marry to other girl because i think that i have lost my verginality and this is ethically wrong.so please help me . i also do not have any attraction with girls that why i cannot do marriage. now there is a question that what should we do .what should i do because i cannot live without him. plz help me because i cannot share this problem to any one.if he will be married then how my whole life will be spent.
-gopal, (4/22/2007)
Homosexuality refers to erotic desire for the person
of same sex.
Heterosexuality refers to erotic desire for the person of opposite sex. Bisexuality refers to erotic desire for the person of both sexes.
Now, you are involved in homosexual behavior, my suggestion to you is
1) To accept the problem, 2) Acknowledgment of the problem, then consult (both you and your partner) a psychiatrist for psychotherapy sessions.
Heterosexuality refers to erotic desire for the person of opposite sex. Bisexuality refers to erotic desire for the person of both sexes.
Now, you are involved in homosexual behavior, my suggestion to you is
1) To accept the problem, 2) Acknowledgment of the problem, then consult (both you and your partner) a psychiatrist for psychotherapy sessions.
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30 . Subject : Question about health
Question : Sir, am studying in 11th standard. I am so fatty. So I can’t concentrate on my study well. So please give me any better way to decrease fat, as early possible. thank you
Question : Sir, am studying in 11th standard. I am so fatty. So I can’t concentrate on my study well. So please give me any better way to decrease fat, as early possible. thank you
-Rahul, (4/13/2007)
Many treatments are available for obesity and
different approaches are likely to be effective for
different people. The most thoroughly evaluated
approaches, behavior therapy, pharmacotherapy,
very–low-calorie diets, and surgery. Self-help books,
commercial and self-help programs, input from a
variety of health professionals, and just doing it
entirely on one's own have not been evaluated to the
extent that firm conclusions can be drawn.
It is generally accepted that life-style change is
necessary no matter what approach to weight control is
used. Behavior therapy is the means for altering
life-style and hence could be considered sufficient by
itself for some individuals
The key elements to behavioral approaches are structured lifestyle change, methods to increase physical activity, cognitive techniques for attitude change, strategies for increasing social support, and methods for dietary change.
Record Keeping Patients keep extensive records of food intake throughout treatment. In the initial weeks they record the types and amounts of foods eaten and their caloric value. They are asked to reduce consumption of high-fat and high-calorie foods as a means of decreasing caloric intake by approximately 500 kcal a day.
Physical Activity Patients increase their life-style activity by walking more, using stairs rather than escalators, and reducing their dependence on energy-saving devices such as extension phones and remote control devices. Most patients also adopt a structured exercise program, such as walking or swimming. Because there are psychological advantages to exercise (effects on body image, self-esteem, and mood), patients are encouraged to be active as often as possible, in ways that can be sustained, and to be certain that every activity they engage in, no matter how small, “counts” as exercise in their minds.
The key elements to behavioral approaches are structured lifestyle change, methods to increase physical activity, cognitive techniques for attitude change, strategies for increasing social support, and methods for dietary change.
Record Keeping Patients keep extensive records of food intake throughout treatment. In the initial weeks they record the types and amounts of foods eaten and their caloric value. They are asked to reduce consumption of high-fat and high-calorie foods as a means of decreasing caloric intake by approximately 500 kcal a day.
Physical Activity Patients increase their life-style activity by walking more, using stairs rather than escalators, and reducing their dependence on energy-saving devices such as extension phones and remote control devices. Most patients also adopt a structured exercise program, such as walking or swimming. Because there are psychological advantages to exercise (effects on body image, self-esteem, and mood), patients are encouraged to be active as often as possible, in ways that can be sustained, and to be certain that every activity they engage in, no matter how small, “counts” as exercise in their minds.
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31 . Subject : TEENAGE LOVE
Question : I LOVE A GIRL WHOSE HOUSE NEARBY MY HOUSE AND ALSO SHE STUDING AT 10th CLASS.I REQUESTED HER MARRY AT HER 20th AGE.BUT SHE LOVING ME AND ALSO FEARING HER.SO WHAT SHOULD I DO?MY AIM IS TO PREPARE AN IAS BUT ALSO LOVING HER.SO YOU SHOULD GIVE GOOD SOLUTION FOR ME ?
Question : I LOVE A GIRL WHOSE HOUSE NEARBY MY HOUSE AND ALSO SHE STUDING AT 10th CLASS.I REQUESTED HER MARRY AT HER 20th AGE.BUT SHE LOVING ME AND ALSO FEARING HER.SO WHAT SHOULD I DO?MY AIM IS TO PREPARE AN IAS BUT ALSO LOVING HER.SO YOU SHOULD GIVE GOOD SOLUTION FOR ME ?
-SAFEEL, (4/4/2007)
Friend at present my suggestion to you and your girl
friend is to focus on study. Bring all your attention
and concentration for your IAS preparation. Your
success in IAS will be the best valentine gift to your
girl friend. Let her also finish her graduation
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32 . Subject : health
Question : i hv a problem that sweating takes plaaaaace from my foot layer & hand palm..also on nose every time....in summer alongwith cold day...also...plz.....................do some thing... your's faithfullu...
Question : i hv a problem that sweating takes plaaaaace from my foot layer & hand palm..also on nose every time....in summer alongwith cold day...also...plz.....................do some thing... your's faithfullu...
-ritesh raman, (3/29/2007)
Kindly send more details. When you sweat more i.e.
when you anxious or tense.
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33 . Subject : mind upset
Question : DEAR sir, iam doing btech in hostel. i will be happy for many days.but suddenly iwill become very upset .idont know why it happens. when iam feeling moody i cannot talk to anybody properly. iwant to sleep every time. i will do my work sincerly up to date.iwill sudy well also. but suddenly i will become moody. at this time i cannot do any work except eating and sleeping. due to this i didnot write my internal exams. due to my probelm, ican study,but icannot express it well. i consulted a doctor. iam using medicines ti control this. my parents are full support to me. i had no bad habbits. please find a solution for my probelm.
Question : DEAR sir, iam doing btech in hostel. i will be happy for many days.but suddenly iwill become very upset .idont know why it happens. when iam feeling moody i cannot talk to anybody properly. iwant to sleep every time. i will do my work sincerly up to date.iwill sudy well also. but suddenly i will become moody. at this time i cannot do any work except eating and sleeping. due to this i didnot write my internal exams. due to my probelm, ican study,but icannot express it well. i consulted a doctor. iam using medicines ti control this. my parents are full support to me. i had no bad habbits. please find a solution for my probelm.
-K.V.N.S.CHAKRAVARTHI, (3/22/2007)
As per your question I think you are going through
depression and you are taking medicine for that
continue the medicine as per instructions given by
your psychiatrist.
I am giving you some tips—
1) Learn to relax—learn to relax your self and your body through deep breathing and muscle tension reduction exercise. Try to take mini breaks.
2) Watch your mood swings and try to maintain a dairy. 3) Talk rationally to yourself.
4) Get organized.
5) Exercise: try walking, aerobics, yoga, jogging, dancing, swimming etc. try to keep physically healthy.
6) Quiet time: balance your family, social and work demands with private time. Make time for fun activity, it is just important as study or work.
I am giving you some tips—
1) Learn to relax—learn to relax your self and your body through deep breathing and muscle tension reduction exercise. Try to take mini breaks.
2) Watch your mood swings and try to maintain a dairy. 3) Talk rationally to yourself.
4) Get organized.
5) Exercise: try walking, aerobics, yoga, jogging, dancing, swimming etc. try to keep physically healthy.
6) Quiet time: balance your family, social and work demands with private time. Make time for fun activity, it is just important as study or work.
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34 . Subject : tensoin for lover
Question : Respected Sir/Maddam, i'm B.A. 2nd year student in P. U . chd. Sir my Big problam I hane not any true Grilfriend . I Become a true , lovely,Beautiful , Truthly Girlfriend. There Become To my life partner .I'm not belive in relgion no in cast .I'm Belive in true love . i take very tension in this matter . plz Solve my problam . I'M VEARY - VEARY THANKFUL U. THANKFUL U. ARVINDER SINGH MEHON
Question : Respected Sir/Maddam, i'm B.A. 2nd year student in P. U . chd. Sir my Big problam I hane not any true Grilfriend . I Become a true , lovely,Beautiful , Truthly Girlfriend. There Become To my life partner .I'm not belive in relgion no in cast .I'm Belive in true love . i take very tension in this matter . plz Solve my problam . I'M VEARY - VEARY THANKFUL U. THANKFUL U. ARVINDER SINGH MEHON
-arvinder singh, (3/14/2007)
I can understand your problem. Please you try to be true friend for some one and then you also might get one. Continue your practice of good behaviour, some one might get attracted to you.
regards
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35 . Subject : How to join Indian Army?
Question : Respected sir, I am stuent of final year engg. in Production. I am really interrested to join indian army. But I do not know how to prepair for that? My english is poor how to improve that? I am looseing my concentration durig study. How to improve concentration and willpower. Please guide me.
Question : Respected sir, I am stuent of final year engg. in Production. I am really interrested to join indian army. But I do not know how to prepair for that? My english is poor how to improve that? I am looseing my concentration durig study. How to improve concentration and willpower. Please guide me.
-Rohit Deo, (2/27/2007)
For the general reply, you can reher the previous question.
As far as improving English is concerned, you can go through some basic grammar books like Wren & Martin. Written and spoken English will improve only when you read some English newspapers, listen All India Radio and watch some Television News regulary. In addition, you have to talk in English with others. Practice only will make you perfect.
Concentration come by practice. Will power come when you believe in yourself. Do small things and cherish that you have done it. This practice makes you to believe yourself and say, " I CAN DO IT" This will bring success to you.
As far as improving English is concerned, you can go through some basic grammar books like Wren & Martin. Written and spoken English will improve only when you read some English newspapers, listen All India Radio and watch some Television News regulary. In addition, you have to talk in English with others. Practice only will make you perfect.
Concentration come by practice. Will power come when you believe in yourself. Do small things and cherish that you have done it. This practice makes you to believe yourself and say, " I CAN DO IT" This will bring success to you.
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36 . Subject : tension
Question : Dear mam i m 23, tensed because of underdeveloped breasts....Please suggest me some good lady doctors in delhi and their phone numbers and treatments....does implantation really works....hoping for an early reply.....
Question : Dear mam i m 23, tensed because of underdeveloped breasts....Please suggest me some good lady doctors in delhi and their phone numbers and treatments....does implantation really works....hoping for an early reply.....
-sakshi, (2/20/2007)
Farkly speaking small breasts have its own Aesthetic value. As the saying is that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, you should not worry about it. The development of breasts is proportionate to the body structure. If the person is thin & tall samll breasts (proportionate) suits the personality. We would personally suggest that donot consider the option for surgery. Any maipulation with the breasts may cause some other problem. Now a days many things are available in the market such as silicon pads etc. which can be placed in the bra as per the requirement. This would not physically or psychologically harm you.As you grow the size of breasts may change. Just beleive in your personality & you, we are sure some one must be there liking you as you are.
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37 . Subject : about concertation
Question : dear sir , i m astudent of btech 2year. i m unable to concertate when i start my study
Question : dear sir , i m astudent of btech 2year. i m unable to concertate when i start my study
-harendra, (2/20/2007)
The lack of concentration towards studies is a problem, which majority of students do face. For having concentration on studies, one has to first identify the hurdels/barries in having the concentration. Give your self some free time to think on this while walking or may be before sleeping etc. It is important that slowly you try to over come the identified barriers one by one and also keep appreciating the work/ studies, which may satisfy you. A clear cut plan of action in priortising on daily basis may help you in this regard. It is important that you give your self some personal time (for your personal growth). Meditation, yoga, morning/evening walk, may help you in building your self. Please remember, the circumstances are beyond the control of human being but definitly actions are. Help yourself by doing this.
For more memory power and grasping power, do focus on the subjects, which you like the most, which will help you to sustain in studies followed by other subjects.
2.Read the book, when you are ready to do ie Every human being has maximum absorbing power in a day. Some one may find it early morning. Some one may find it evening, Some one may find it in the night, when other are sleeping. So, find out such time so that you can study more and memorise more.
3. Study when you feel like, don't see or follow others. ie Some people ( Normally it happens in boarding or hostel life) see others studying, becuase of jealous or competition, they also do open the book, when his/her soul and mind are not tune to that.
For more memory power and grasping power, do focus on the subjects, which you like the most, which will help you to sustain in studies followed by other subjects.
2.Read the book, when you are ready to do ie Every human being has maximum absorbing power in a day. Some one may find it early morning. Some one may find it evening, Some one may find it in the night, when other are sleeping. So, find out such time so that you can study more and memorise more.
3. Study when you feel like, don't see or follow others. ie Some people ( Normally it happens in boarding or hostel life) see others studying, becuase of jealous or competition, they also do open the book, when his/her soul and mind are not tune to that.
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38 . Subject : Query
Question : Dear sir/madam, I am very much upset throughout mylife. My first problem is my mother. I always found their is a gap between me and my mother. I love my parents very much from the deep my heart i respect them.My mother always love me very much but she is very strict I cant able to tell her and share sth. with her. she always hurt me through his rude behaviour. I always take her decision finally because she will not accept if somebody go against her. I dont want to hurt her in anyway but sometime in aggresive mood I lost my temper and hurt her to my words. I feel regret about it. Please help to solve my problem. what should I do?
Question : Dear sir/madam, I am very much upset throughout mylife. My first problem is my mother. I always found their is a gap between me and my mother. I love my parents very much from the deep my heart i respect them.My mother always love me very much but she is very strict I cant able to tell her and share sth. with her. she always hurt me through his rude behaviour. I always take her decision finally because she will not accept if somebody go against her. I dont want to hurt her in anyway but sometime in aggresive mood I lost my temper and hurt her to my words. I feel regret about it. Please help to solve my problem. what should I do?
-Daisy, (2/18/2007)
I completly understand the problem you are facing. But we must realise and accept that certainly there is a generation gap between our parents and us. Parents always want welfare of their kids because of which some time they have to be rude towards their kids. More over because of generation gap, some sorts of thing which we want to do, they would not allow because of various reasons like values, social-economic pressures, their up-bringing, environment etc. Some time/ situations the parents are also not practicle/ correct in their behaviour. We have to understand all this and should behave in such way that parents beleive that we are reponsible and can take care of ourselves. This will certaily make them more relaxed and open to us. There is nothing helpful then open discussions with parents and giving them due positive regard. And if at all you have some fights with your parent/ siblings/friends, take a lead in resolving it by your self. Please be relaxed.
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39 . Subject : pl.give us advise for feelings sex
Question : I have a somany feelings of sex that divert my mind when i talked the girl i feel happy and when she is not talked me i feel bad
Question : I have a somany feelings of sex that divert my mind when i talked the girl i feel happy and when she is not talked me i feel bad
-b.venkatesh, (2/18/2007)
It is common to get attracted towards opposite sex. So, you need not worry about it. Your feelings are not noticed by the opposite sex. ie you want the girls also to talk to you. There are many reasons behind it. It may be from your side or from the Girsl side also.
Few reasons pertaining to you
1. You are under inferiority complex.
2. May be comparing with other boys in your age group.
3. Possessing poor self confidece and poor self seteem.
4. Your behaviour may be little irritating to others especially opposite sex.
5. Your way of approach may not be liked y some one.
From the girs side
1. Every individual has some unique identity.So, Girls too
2. The girls, who are not talking to you may hail from different background.
3. The brought up of girls also vary from one to another.
4. The social background of every individual also vary.
5. Girl are not so open as boys are in the interaction because of our culture.
We suggest you to do the following:
1. Have a confidence on yourself. Self confidence and self esteem is very very important for a person.
2. Try do some thing different and great so that people like you
3. Talk to others with great empathy.
4. If possible you can sort out some points, which you lack compared others in your circle and try to make it up.
5. Don't compare others in this activity.
6. Be yourself, some one will definitely like you well.
7. Above all, Don't expect, all girls should talk to you , the way you are thinking.
8. Be relax and read some good books and have some hobbies and entertainments also
9. Believe, you will get a VERY GOOD MATCH for you. The time will ripen and you will get the same.
Few reasons pertaining to you
1. You are under inferiority complex.
2. May be comparing with other boys in your age group.
3. Possessing poor self confidece and poor self seteem.
4. Your behaviour may be little irritating to others especially opposite sex.
5. Your way of approach may not be liked y some one.
From the girs side
1. Every individual has some unique identity.So, Girls too
2. The girls, who are not talking to you may hail from different background.
3. The brought up of girls also vary from one to another.
4. The social background of every individual also vary.
5. Girl are not so open as boys are in the interaction because of our culture.
We suggest you to do the following:
1. Have a confidence on yourself. Self confidence and self esteem is very very important for a person.
2. Try do some thing different and great so that people like you
3. Talk to others with great empathy.
4. If possible you can sort out some points, which you lack compared others in your circle and try to make it up.
5. Don't compare others in this activity.
6. Be yourself, some one will definitely like you well.
7. Above all, Don't expect, all girls should talk to you , the way you are thinking.
8. Be relax and read some good books and have some hobbies and entertainments also
9. Believe, you will get a VERY GOOD MATCH for you. The time will ripen and you will get the same.
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40 . Subject : guidence to convince my inlaws for marriage!!!!
Question : hi sir, let me start from a beginning,i was the one whho was never into these kind of activities of making girlfriends but last year i incidentally met a girl thru a common friend and we both started goin around.as the days went by we become close to each other and now its like we have come to the decission of getting married to each other.i have made her meet my parents and they are very much pleased for my choice and best of all she is the one whom i have always dream off.now the problem is that she is bengali brahmin and m punjabi brahmin.her mother knows abt us and she is givin some positive signs now after a long time but my beloved is afraid and worried of her father coz of some family ups and downs her father is very strict and don have faith in any1 but also her father is very much possesive for her , in the sense he loves her a lot and fulfils her each n every wish.by god's grace my family is also well settled and money is not any issue but the problem is that how does she convince her parents for our marriage so that they are easily ready for us and accepts our relationship.she is bengali and i m punjabi and me too well settled.guide me how her parents can be convinced
Question : hi sir, let me start from a beginning,i was the one whho was never into these kind of activities of making girlfriends but last year i incidentally met a girl thru a common friend and we both started goin around.as the days went by we become close to each other and now its like we have come to the decission of getting married to each other.i have made her meet my parents and they are very much pleased for my choice and best of all she is the one whom i have always dream off.now the problem is that she is bengali brahmin and m punjabi brahmin.her mother knows abt us and she is givin some positive signs now after a long time but my beloved is afraid and worried of her father coz of some family ups and downs her father is very strict and don have faith in any1 but also her father is very much possesive for her , in the sense he loves her a lot and fulfils her each n every wish.by god's grace my family is also well settled and money is not any issue but the problem is that how does she convince her parents for our marriage so that they are easily ready for us and accepts our relationship.she is bengali and i m punjabi and me too well settled.guide me how her parents can be convinced
-sunny, (2/16/2007)
As you have mentioned that you have made up your mind to marry the girl you like. It is fine. From your statement, we understand that you must have also understood her well.
In Indian situation, the marriage is not between two individuals, but it is between two families and also between two different clans to some extent.
In your case 50% of your side is fine and there is a green signal from your side. From the girl's side also, mother is some extent ok with you. The only issue is her father.
No problem, that will also be fine as you have mentioned that he fulfills all her needs.
He may be upset, because his daughter will be going away from him.
He may be possesive of her but she has to be married off to some one soon. Why not you?
Though you both belong to the same community, Father may want his daughter to be married off in the near by area so that he can meet her regularly.
He may think of some cultural differencies between you two.
We suggest you to do the following:
1. First try to meet him in person, if possible in the famliy situation, where you can meet the girl's father and mother together.
2. Try to meet the family members through a common friend.
3. If above two are not materialising, your parents can also meet her parents.
4. As you have not mentioned about your place of residence of both of you, we find it little difficulty in giving an exact guidance. But, if you are living in the same place, it will not be a problem for you go ahead. If you are living in different places, work out some other measures to reach them.
5. You can also explain your case across the table, they will agree to it.
6. Go ahead with open mind and discuss the issue with her father. He will definitely accept you.
7. If you two are strong , the time will bring success to you and your love life.
8. Your issue may be taken to your girl friend's father through a person, who , he will listen to.
9. You can also do some thing, which your girl's father will like ie you can prove that you can be the best match to his daughter .
If you have any doubt specific to this issue, you are always welcome.
In Indian situation, the marriage is not between two individuals, but it is between two families and also between two different clans to some extent.
In your case 50% of your side is fine and there is a green signal from your side. From the girl's side also, mother is some extent ok with you. The only issue is her father.
No problem, that will also be fine as you have mentioned that he fulfills all her needs.
He may be upset, because his daughter will be going away from him.
He may be possesive of her but she has to be married off to some one soon. Why not you?
Though you both belong to the same community, Father may want his daughter to be married off in the near by area so that he can meet her regularly.
He may think of some cultural differencies between you two.
We suggest you to do the following:
1. First try to meet him in person, if possible in the famliy situation, where you can meet the girl's father and mother together.
2. Try to meet the family members through a common friend.
3. If above two are not materialising, your parents can also meet her parents.
4. As you have not mentioned about your place of residence of both of you, we find it little difficulty in giving an exact guidance. But, if you are living in the same place, it will not be a problem for you go ahead. If you are living in different places, work out some other measures to reach them.
5. You can also explain your case across the table, they will agree to it.
6. Go ahead with open mind and discuss the issue with her father. He will definitely accept you.
7. If you two are strong , the time will bring success to you and your love life.
8. Your issue may be taken to your girl friend's father through a person, who , he will listen to.
9. You can also do some thing, which your girl's father will like ie you can prove that you can be the best match to his daughter .
If you have any doubt specific to this issue, you are always welcome.
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41 . Subject : love
Question : sir i love a girl very much, she also love but now she tell me that she not love me but i want to make her to my life parnet , so please tell how can i ?
Question : sir i love a girl very much, she also love but now she tell me that she not love me but i want to make her to my life parnet , so please tell how can i ?
-omkar rour, (2/12/2007)
It happens at this stage. This is the stage of little confusion also. One is not clear about her/his feelings.
You have mentioned that this girl loved you and now, she says that not in love with you.
She might have spoken to you in a friendship way.
But if she really loved you, you can very well ask her about her feelings towards you.
Just have a talk with you, and also explain her about your stand. There may be some reason/s disturbed/disturbing her.
This may be from your side also or may be from some other areas. Like family side/ friends side. family might have come to know about you people.
In our opinion, you may discuss with her first and listen to her. If she says that she doesn't love you. Don't force her. Be a good friend to her. It may take some more time to understand you well.
We also suggest you that this is the age you have to do something great for your career also. The time will come; you will find a partner, who will be a perfect match for you.
You have not mentioned about the girl's age also. Then , we could have given some more tips in this regard.
Now, concentrate on your studies and career. Everything will fall in line.
You have mentioned that this girl loved you and now, she says that not in love with you.
She might have spoken to you in a friendship way.
But if she really loved you, you can very well ask her about her feelings towards you.
Just have a talk with you, and also explain her about your stand. There may be some reason/s disturbed/disturbing her.
This may be from your side also or may be from some other areas. Like family side/ friends side. family might have come to know about you people.
In our opinion, you may discuss with her first and listen to her. If she says that she doesn't love you. Don't force her. Be a good friend to her. It may take some more time to understand you well.
We also suggest you that this is the age you have to do something great for your career also. The time will come; you will find a partner, who will be a perfect match for you.
You have not mentioned about the girl's age also. Then , we could have given some more tips in this regard.
Now, concentrate on your studies and career. Everything will fall in line.
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42 . Subject : i am a gay
Question : sir i am a gay and i have a serious relationships with a boy in my college life for past 6 years. i am sexually and emotionally acepted boy. now that boy is ging to be married by girl and he is not giving me good responses. now i am stressed . what i have to do
Question : sir i am a gay and i have a serious relationships with a boy in my college life for past 6 years. i am sexually and emotionally acepted boy. now that boy is ging to be married by girl and he is not giving me good responses. now i am stressed . what i have to do
-gopalan, (2/7/2007)
Sexual preference for having sex with same sex is a normal behaviour. This has also been certifide by American Psychological Association (APA) and WHO. Now about your friend, I think you may frankly ask him about his feelings towards you. About 80% of MSM ( Men having Sex with Men) are bisexuals, so his feeling towards you is more important than marrying a girl. And I would like to suggest that you should also be clear in terms of your relationship with your friend. Both of you live in society so some pressures may also be there on your friend. Think cooly about your relationship/ friendship.
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43 . Subject : civil services exam
Question : dear sir , i m a student persuing my b degree with commerce stream.i want to go for civil services exam just after completing my b degree.rather i m preparing 4 it but i m not satisfied with my preparation .i think that i m not able to give a proper direction to my efforts.please advise me on that if my qualification is sufficient for this purpose or shold i persue my masters degree.also tell me the tips how to get on the track for the competition so that i could feel confident to take the exam after my b degree.i have not joined any coaching institute yet.also i m not able to find the previous yers question paper on management.where could i get them from.?
Question : dear sir , i m a student persuing my b degree with commerce stream.i want to go for civil services exam just after completing my b degree.rather i m preparing 4 it but i m not satisfied with my preparation .i think that i m not able to give a proper direction to my efforts.please advise me on that if my qualification is sufficient for this purpose or shold i persue my masters degree.also tell me the tips how to get on the track for the competition so that i could feel confident to take the exam after my b degree.i have not joined any coaching institute yet.also i m not able to find the previous yers question paper on management.where could i get them from.?
-kashish, (2/6/2007)
First believe yourself. Have confidence in you.
Set out your priorities and goals. Then you can really give proper focus on your studies
You are 19 year old and have an idea about Civil services and asking How to compete? There are people, who are in their late twenties are not aware of such exams. First of all, you should be proud of it. And also you have got an opportunity to interact with us. Just make make use of it.
As far as your preparation is concerned, you can follow the TIPS given in the site. Prepare for one optional and General Studies in this period. After your graduation , you can think of doing another subject.
In our opinion, you should concentrate on your degree and do masters also. Because the Civil Services exam is such an uncertain one.
If you want to undersatnd the reality of Civil Services, go through the "SECRET OF SUCCESS" given in the www.threeauthors.com site.So, don't get dejected if there is a failure.
As far as joing coaching Institute is concerned, it is up to you. There are many successful aspirants never even gone for any coaching.
Previous years questions are available in the market. We are also in the process of putting it in the site.
Set out your priorities and goals. Then you can really give proper focus on your studies
You are 19 year old and have an idea about Civil services and asking How to compete? There are people, who are in their late twenties are not aware of such exams. First of all, you should be proud of it. And also you have got an opportunity to interact with us. Just make make use of it.
As far as your preparation is concerned, you can follow the TIPS given in the site. Prepare for one optional and General Studies in this period. After your graduation , you can think of doing another subject.
In our opinion, you should concentrate on your degree and do masters also. Because the Civil Services exam is such an uncertain one.
If you want to undersatnd the reality of Civil Services, go through the "SECRET OF SUCCESS" given in the www.threeauthors.com site.So, don't get dejected if there is a failure.
As far as joing coaching Institute is concerned, it is up to you. There are many successful aspirants never even gone for any coaching.
Previous years questions are available in the market. We are also in the process of putting it in the site.
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44 . Subject : Girl cheated me...Continued
Question : Dear sir as far as the matter is concerned regarding the deletion of all those sms's...When i was entraped by her in her college by her administration there was actrually no police forces there was guard of her chief[police guard]...And apart from that many physically trained personal mans from the admisnistration...They brutally tortured me in the back side of the college...And her chief of hostel took my mobile and when after four hour later i got back my mobile everything was empty...After that they called at my home projecting me as a villain...My wother is weeping since then....She said ankish i was having so much faith in you...You are being involved that tooo in such kind of girl...But still i dont want to blame myself...The girl was regularly attracting me from 1 year by many ways...As far as Fir is concerned thier is enough possibility by the pressure of senior bureaucrats...But this girl today appears to me so cheap she may even tell many lies leaving her dignity aside...Can the conversation be reproduced after police Fir...Means the conversation between me and her be reproduced...If i wont be able to win legally i will put my career aside and will take law in my hand...May be my academic life may be spoiled....Can i take serious action against college administration...Generally college management is Rich and have good contacts...? I am puzzled ...these days could not sleep properly...? And even they tortured me from the butt of carbine....Their is enough swelling on my face... I am again asking can the conversation be reproduced because i have enquired her number is registered as acouple plan that ahs two sim on e sim is with her bf number 1 and second sim is with her bf number 2..But both sim are registerd by the name of her boy friend so voices are necessary for the proof...May be if police may interst they may entrap her by her voice with proper planning...
Question : Dear sir as far as the matter is concerned regarding the deletion of all those sms's...When i was entraped by her in her college by her administration there was actrually no police forces there was guard of her chief[police guard]...And apart from that many physically trained personal mans from the admisnistration...They brutally tortured me in the back side of the college...And her chief of hostel took my mobile and when after four hour later i got back my mobile everything was empty...After that they called at my home projecting me as a villain...My wother is weeping since then....She said ankish i was having so much faith in you...You are being involved that tooo in such kind of girl...But still i dont want to blame myself...The girl was regularly attracting me from 1 year by many ways...As far as Fir is concerned thier is enough possibility by the pressure of senior bureaucrats...But this girl today appears to me so cheap she may even tell many lies leaving her dignity aside...Can the conversation be reproduced after police Fir...Means the conversation between me and her be reproduced...If i wont be able to win legally i will put my career aside and will take law in my hand...May be my academic life may be spoiled....Can i take serious action against college administration...Generally college management is Rich and have good contacts...? I am puzzled ...these days could not sleep properly...? And even they tortured me from the butt of carbine....Their is enough swelling on my face... I am again asking can the conversation be reproduced because i have enquired her number is registered as acouple plan that ahs two sim on e sim is with her bf number 1 and second sim is with her bf number 2..But both sim are registerd by the name of her boy friend so voices are necessary for the proof...May be if police may interst they may entrap her by her voice with proper planning...
-Ankish, (2/2/2007)
We would suggest you to be cool and face the challenge. One should not think of taking some revenge. That is not the end to it.
As you had mentioned earlier also, you can prove your innocence and, please do it.
Other thing is that you may approach some advocate, who is expert in dealing these types of issues. If you feel that injustice has been done to you, you may approach some higher official also in the same police department.
Dobn't think that the other party is very influential and can do anything. There are good people in the department also. You may approach them through some people. In our opinion, yourself can go ahead to meet such official to stop this problem. In fact, people may appreciate that you are ready solve it through peaceful process.
This is the age people/ youngters feel that they can do anything. It is true but that anything should not backfire you.
Take a non violence path to solve the problem, then it won't be looking like a problem.
"ALL THE BEST"
As you had mentioned earlier also, you can prove your innocence and, please do it.
Other thing is that you may approach some advocate, who is expert in dealing these types of issues.
Dobn't think that the other party is very influential and can do anything. There are good people in the department also. You may approach them through some people. In our opinion, yourself can go ahead to meet such official to stop this problem. In fact, people may appreciate that you are ready solve it through peaceful process.
This is the age people/ youngters feel that they can do anything. It is true but that anything should not backfire you.
Take a non violence path to solve the problem, then it won't be looking like a problem.
"ALL THE BEST"
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45 . Subject : Girl cheated and tortured me..
Question : Dear Sir One girl was in serious dalliance with me... We have been ineteracting since more than 1 month... Suddenly girl was wanting to quit from me... So i decided we must depart since she was already commited... But suddenly after having commmon consensus we decided to depart in her favor.. But she again contacted me in night... Saying that she was feeling helpless and restless... So communication started again since then[2nd January 2007]... I tried to go far from her many times...But always she attracted me... By her calls and miss calls and sms... But on 29 january when i was in college of hers i asked her to come down to interact. But she retorted that she will come only if i will promise not to interact in her college... I fullfilled the promise and she sat in front of me for more than 2 hours... Suddenly few days later she demanded to sent her some written document.. I did sent her document.. After reading that she said that Ankish you are so involved in me... I don't wantyou to be in trouble i am going to tell something to my first boy friend about you...He told her boy friend that i send her a bouquet and i am sending her sms and coming to college regualrly..She didn't told him the fact that she too is involved in me...Now today on 1 st february i was in her college...She complaint to police and administration of her college...Although i was trying to furnish the proof that she is in regular interaction with me ..I was trying to show them the sms that she has sent me...But the administration of her staff deleted all the sms deleteing all the proof that was against her.... After that they treated me with in human flavor... Brutally torturing me physically and mentally... I still can prove many things once the report is launched in police station... Then i will fetch all the calls details of her....That she used to call me in the mid night and so on...But no body will hear she has cheated me and tortured and mentally...If police will come into play then i may get back my self respect and confidence... The calls that she has given me in last 1 month must be best proof but how shall i accomoplish the task... What are the legal method by which i can persecute this girl...Our colleges are located in Ghaziabad...and her home town is in kanpur ...She has also given call to me from her Landline number from kanpur...And those conversation lasted for more than half an hour each time... I want to regain my self respect otherwise my blood is young....
Question : Dear Sir One girl was in serious dalliance with me... We have been ineteracting since more than 1 month... Suddenly girl was wanting to quit from me... So i decided we must depart since she was already commited... But suddenly after having commmon consensus we decided to depart in her favor.. But she again contacted me in night... Saying that she was feeling helpless and restless... So communication started again since then[2nd January 2007]... I tried to go far from her many times...But always she attracted me... By her calls and miss calls and sms... But on 29 january when i was in college of hers i asked her to come down to interact. But she retorted that she will come only if i will promise not to interact in her college... I fullfilled the promise and she sat in front of me for more than 2 hours... Suddenly few days later she demanded to sent her some written document.. I did sent her document.. After reading that she said that Ankish you are so involved in me... I don't wantyou to be in trouble i am going to tell something to my first boy friend about you...He told her boy friend that i send her a bouquet and i am sending her sms and coming to college regualrly..She didn't told him the fact that she too is involved in me...Now today on 1 st february i was in her college...She complaint to police and administration of her college...Although i was trying to furnish the proof that she is in regular interaction with me ..I was trying to show them the sms that she has sent me...But the administration of her staff deleted all the sms deleteing all the proof that was against her.... After that they treated me with in human flavor... Brutally torturing me physically and mentally... I still can prove many things once the report is launched in police station... Then i will fetch all the calls details of her....That she used to call me in the mid night and so on...But no body will hear she has cheated me and tortured and mentally...If police will come into play then i may get back my self respect and confidence... The calls that she has given me in last 1 month must be best proof but how shall i accomoplish the task... What are the legal method by which i can persecute this girl...Our colleges are located in Ghaziabad...and her home town is in kanpur ...She has also given call to me from her Landline number from kanpur...And those conversation lasted for more than half an hour each time... I want to regain my self respect otherwise my blood is young....
-ankish, (2/1/2007)
We feel that this girl was playing with you. One should be careful in dealing these things nowadays. Don't worry about this issue. Because you have not committed any mistake as per your statement.
You also have written that she asked to send a document. But it is not clear what type of document you had sent to her.
One more thing, The SMS sent by her will be with you in your cell. Who can delete those message. Why don't you show those messages as record.
As far as the police case is concerned, if police wants, they can very well retrieve the calls she had with you from the record.
If at all they want to prosecute, they will have to go in to the details, where the TRUTH will get exposed.
Be calm, don't get tensed. This is the period one should be calm and act intelligently.
If they have filed a case against you in the police station, you also explain the case well. Otherwise you can consult a lawyer " How to go about this case"
You also have written that she asked to send a document. But it is not clear what type of document you had sent to her.
One more thing, The SMS sent by her will be with you in your cell. Who can delete those message. Why don't you show those messages as record.
As far as the police case is concerned, if police wants, they can very well retrieve the calls she had with you from the record.
If at all they want to prosecute, they will have to go in to the details, where the TRUTH will get exposed.
Be calm, don't get tensed. This is the period one should be calm and act intelligently.
If they have filed a case against you in the police station, you also explain the case well. Otherwise you can consult a lawyer " How to go about this case"
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46 . Subject : how to improve personality
Question : hi sir im 21 years old.but im too weak.my weight is 35 only and height is 4.9.in these age height can be increase or not.plz can u give me advice for improve my growth and health.in my family are normal height.but im only short.
Question : hi sir im 21 years old.but im too weak.my weight is 35 only and height is 4.9.in these age height can be increase or not.plz can u give me advice for improve my growth and health.in my family are normal height.but im only short.
-sharada, (1/29/2007)
Normally the growth stops at this age. You need not woory about it. The average height of Indian women is 5.2" only.
As far as your weakness is concerned, it is suggested that you should take proper and quality food.
You should also believe that you are as good as other and have confidence on you.
If you are looking for something special for your growth and body weight, you can also consult some qualified doctor/dietician.
You should also understand that personality is not only merely a look but it has more things added to it.
How you present yourself to others is more important than just look.
We assure that this will give you more confidence to meet others also in the public.
As far as your weakness is concerned, it is suggested that you should take proper and quality food.
You should also believe that you are as good as other and have confidence on you.
If you are looking for something special for your growth and body weight, you can also consult some qualified doctor/dietician.
You should also understand that personality is not only merely a look but it has more things added to it.
How you present yourself to others is more important than just look.
We assure that this will give you more confidence to meet others also in the public.
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47 . Subject : consult
Question : sir i am suffering from premature ejacuation and i have very small and thin penis,sir it is possible to remove above defects,if yes,then from where and how
Question : sir i am suffering from premature ejacuation and i have very small and thin penis,sir it is possible to remove above defects,if yes,then from where and how
-sudesh s rao, (1/29/2007)
It can be rectified. Sexual act is something deals with mental issue and not just the physical.
This problem is commomn among many people. It is easily curable. You can consult a qualified doctor in this regard.
This problem is commomn among many people. It is easily curable. You can consult a qualified doctor in this regard.
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48 . Subject : medical test
Question : sir,due to masturbation i have very small penis,and there are some sex problem,sir is there is any possibility that i can get any good government job after passing medical
Question : sir,due to masturbation i have very small penis,and there are some sex problem,sir is there is any possibility that i can get any good government job after passing medical
-sudesh s rao, (1/27/2007)
Your perception about masturbation is wrong. Penis size will not become small due to masturbation.
The size of the penis is doesn't matter with the sexuality and other sexual pleasures
You will not be rejected in the on basis of your penis size. It is all Myth. For more details, you may go through the following link :http://www.aids-free-india.org/youth-adolescence/hiv-aids-youth-adolescents-myths-misconception-masturbation.htm
The size of the penis is doesn't matter with the sexuality and other sexual pleasures
You will not be rejected in the on basis of your penis size. It is all Myth. For more details, you may go through the following link :http://www.aids-free-india.org/youth-adolescence/hiv-aids-youth-adolescents-myths-misconception-masturbation.htm
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49 . Subject : counselling in IIT preparation
Question : Sir, I am preparing for my IIT exam and now in 11th std. Problem with me is I get the concept when the teacher is teaching me. But when I try to solve the numerical problems I am not able to solve it. I am not able to apply the theoritical concept to practical one. Kindly help, Anurag
Question : Sir, I am preparing for my IIT exam and now in 11th std. Problem with me is I get the concept when the teacher is teaching me. But when I try to solve the numerical problems I am not able to solve it. I am not able to apply the theoritical concept to practical one. Kindly help, Anurag
-anurag, (1/27/2007)
You have the problem in the concentration.
Boys and Girls in this adolescent age group is with full of dreams. You might be thinking of something and listening to the teacher also simultaneously. So, you are in the classs physically and not mentally.
First try to concentrate fully in the class room, then work out the problems.
Still you are not in a position to do it, you can always ask the teacher to explain well.
Do some practice regularly, you can very well overcome this problem. Then you will feel that it was not at all a problem.
"ALL THE BEST"
Boys and Girls in this adolescent age group is with full of dreams. You might be thinking of something and listening to the teacher also simultaneously. So, you are in the classs physically and not mentally.
First try to concentrate fully in the class room, then work out the problems.
Still you are not in a position to do it, you can always ask the teacher to explain well.
Do some practice regularly, you can very well overcome this problem. Then you will feel that it was not at all a problem.
"ALL THE BEST"
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50 . Subject : Fearness
Question : Respected sir, I am Jithesh. I am 28 years old. workign in a private firm in Delhi. I am preparing for Civil Services. Sir, I don't know how to describe my problems. Sometimes I think I can do anything in this world, I can become the emperor of the world, I. But after 5 minutes I began to think that an Ass have more sense and sensible than me. Another problem is that I am a great coward. I scared everyone. Even in my office if my boss ask anything to me, I couldn't reply. But some time I show the tremendous guts and brave. People may think I am acting. Sir can you please tell me actually what is my problem ? How can over come these silly stuffs and reveal the inner strength ? Awaiting a positive response from you. Thanking you, Jithesh
Question : Respected sir, I am Jithesh. I am 28 years old. workign in a private firm in Delhi. I am preparing for Civil Services. Sir, I don't know how to describe my problems. Sometimes I think I can do anything in this world, I can become the emperor of the world, I. But after 5 minutes I began to think that an Ass have more sense and sensible than me. Another problem is that I am a great coward. I scared everyone. Even in my office if my boss ask anything to me, I couldn't reply. But some time I show the tremendous guts and brave. People may think I am acting. Sir can you please tell me actually what is my problem ? How can over come these silly stuffs and reveal the inner strength ? Awaiting a positive response from you. Thanking you, Jithesh
-Skaria Jithesh, (1/24/2007)
You might be suffering from some inferiority complex.
To get the confidence of others , first you have to be confinent on you. Try to follow some tips as described below.
1. First believe in you. If you don't believe in you and your strength then whoelese?
2. List out the positive and negative points about you as you feel. Try to make more imprints on postive side and try to ward off the negatives one by one . There are sometimes, we feel that some characters are negative but in real sense it may not ne and also vice versa.
3. Sort out the list of problems as you feel
4. Try to prioritize these problems and try to solve it. If you can help otherwise ask some expert , who is in this field.
5. If there is some query/enquiry Streamline your thought process and come out and discuss with other colleagues or your boss.
6. Every person has something unique, try to bring out the UNIQUENESS out. That will solve your all problems.
7. There are sometime you feel that there is some problem but can't be solve. Every problem in the world has a solution.
8. Above all , life is full of challenges, you have to live with it and win over it. That is real life.
9. Try to do some YOGA or exercise, which can really make you cool.
10. Make some good friends and discuss with them about your thoughts, which will make you more strong.
11. If you feel that still you are not able to do away with it, you are always welcome.
To get the confidence of others , first you have to be confinent on you. Try to follow some tips as described below.
1. First believe in you. If you don't believe in you and your strength then whoelese?
2. List out the positive and negative points about you as you feel. Try to make more imprints on postive side and try to ward off the negatives one by one . There are sometimes, we feel that some characters are negative but in real sense it may not ne and also vice versa.
3. Sort out the list of problems as you feel
4. Try to prioritize these problems and try to solve it. If you can help otherwise ask some expert , who is in this field.
5. If there is some query/enquiry Streamline your thought process and come out and discuss with other colleagues or your boss.
6. Every person has something unique, try to bring out the UNIQUENESS out. That will solve your all problems.
7. There are sometime you feel that there is some problem but can't be solve. Every problem in the world has a solution.
8. Above all , life is full of challenges, you have to live with it and win over it. That is real life.
9. Try to do some YOGA or exercise, which can really make you cool.
10. Make some good friends and discuss with them about your thoughts, which will make you more strong.
11. If you feel that still you are not able to do away with it, you are always welcome.
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